Must My Aspiring Influencer Friend Stop Using People for Content?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?